Family

Strength of Mind and Body … and the kindness of strangers.

14 Jun posted by Robin

Strength of mind and body, brings purity of purpose and the patience and endurance to handle what life brings.

That has been my mantra of late, and it has served me well.

A few readers have contacted me to inquire about how I am doing, since I wrote about my marriage problems a few weeks ago. I thought an update was overdue:

There have been no major changes in my situation with my husband, yet.
I’ve been working out daily. I have more energy than I’ve had in years, and have even lost a few pounds.
Old friends have been great. Not only have they kept me occupied, but I have thoroughly been enjoying their company.
My daughter’s therapy plan is filed and hopefully it will be in full swing soon.

My daughter has flourished with this new flurry of activities. The beach is her favorite, but she also likes taking walks with me, and charms everyone she sees, without saying a word.

A Special Note:

I would like to thank all the readers who have had such kind words for me, and especially those who have taken the extra time to privately email me. I was overwhelmed by the kindness of women who are virtually strangers to me, but took the time out of their day to show compassion and concern during this difficult time. It really meant a lot to me, and helped a great deal. I just want to tell you all that you Rock, in my book.

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Like Mother Like Daughter

27 May posted by Robin

Moms are a huge influence on their daughters. My own mother’s calm demeanor in child rearing is something I have inherited from her. Since, I had my daughter at the ripe old age of forty, much has changed in recommended parenting techniques, but keeping a cool head is helpful no matter what your parenting style.

I am working hard to be a good role model for my own daughter. She already loves drinking milk, eating fruits and vegetables and is a very active child, but I want to also set the example for her to continue with these good habits throughout her life. I have been working on changing my own eating habits for some time now, and have already seen positive results from that. Recently, I added a daily workout routine to my morning schedule, and have been taking my daughter on walks with me. The extra exercise is beneficial to my health and sets a good precedent for her.

A recent study has shown that moms who maintain a healthy lifestyle, that incorporates a wide variety of healthful foods like milk and fruits and vegetables, as well as exercise, have daughters who also live a similar healthy lifestyle. So I guess I am on the right track.

To learn more about the study, Like Mother Like Daughter role modeling campaign, and several other great features “like” the Milk Mustache Campaign on Facebook

I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of the National Milk Mustache got milk? Campaign and received a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

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Filed Under: Family, Health

My Heart is Broken …

25 May posted by Robin

I have always endeavored to keep this blog upbeat, but recent events will be causing drastic changes to my life, thus this blog, as well. I struggled with the decision whether to blog about this, but in the end felt I needed to.

My husband told me on May 1st (while my father was in intensive care), that he wanted a divorce & isn’t in love with me anymore. I have been bending over backwards the past few weeks, to try and make things better, but apparently my efforts were too late. Sunday morning he had a hickey on his neck, and he finally admitted that he has been cheating on me, although he has consistently sworn there isn’t someone else, and always claimed to be the kind of man that would never do such a thing.

I never thought it would come to this, and I am devastated. I have certainly not been a perfect wife, and we have grown apart, but I have always stood by him through his difficulties, and been loyal and honest. I trusted him implicitly in this area, and truly thought we would grow old together.

The thought of being the single mom of a disabled child is just so overwhelming for me right now. My little girl is autistic and starting 20-30 hour/week, in home ABA very soon, between that, her short school hours and not having anyone to watch her (in her 4 years of life he has taken her with him about 3x for a couple hours, other than that he will not watch her), I haven’t been able to work. So, on top of having my heart broken, I am desperately concerned that his actions will interfere with her getting this therapy. Therapy that may make the difference between my daughter gaining the skills to get by in life, or not.

I really don’t know how much more I can take. It would have been our 10th anniversary in July, and we were together for 2 years before that. I have to do my best to keep focused and strong for my daughter’s sake, but I don’t even know where to start.

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Filed Under: Family

Fly Away: Movie Gives an Intense Look at Life with Autism

9 May posted by Robin

I recently had the opportunity to watch a dvd screener of the movie Fly Away. I was particularly interested in seeing this movie, since it is about an autistic girl transitioning from childhood into adulthood, and the struggles she and her family experience during this time. Our little girl has autism, so of course it was a little hard to watch. My husband found watching the film very stressful.

The teen girl depicted in the film has somewhat severe autism. She gets around, but her self care skills are minimal, and her outbursts are a source of trouble both at school and with her mother. Her mother, as the primary caretaker (divorced), is overwhelmed with the stress of caring for her daughter, while trying to work and support them. Her father obviously cares for her and takes her a couple times during the film, but he has a hard time handling her.

The mother is receiving pressure both from the school and ex-husband to place her daughter in a live-in school for young people with autism, but she resists, viewing it as abandoning her daughter. Things soon spiral out of control, and she must face that she will not always be here to care for her daughter. There is a tough choice to be made.

Fly Away is an intense and, as my husband will quickly tell you, stressful film. That being said, it is effective in portraying the ups and downs of care taking with an autistic child. I would suggest this film to anyone who wants to better understand the dynamics of transitioning a child with severe autism, into adulthood. It is certainly thought provoking.

Disclosure: Press copy provided for the purpose of this review. All opinions presented here are my own.

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Filed Under: Autism, Reviews & Giveaways

Cutting-Edge Therapies for Autism 2011-2012 Edition: Book Review

21 Apr posted by Robin

Cutting-Edge Therapies for Autism is a new series of books started last year by two fathers of autistic children. Cutting-Edge Therapies for Autism 2011-2012 is the second and newest edition, and hopefully a new edition will be coming out, if not yearly, at least biennially. It is a wonderful overview of autism therapies available, treatments in development and theories concerning autism. It is an ever changing area of study, and parents want all the information they can get to find good therapy matches for their children, with the diagnosis.

Ken Siri and Tony Lyons, the editors of the book, do not claim to be experts themselves, but have done a wonderful job of gathering and compiling overviews and opinions about a wide array of autism therapies directly from experts in each type of therapy.

The therapies themselves are a mixed bag. Some (in my humble opinion) border on quackery, while others have proven track records of success. I liked that all were covered, regardless of general acceptance. I prefer to get all the information possible, and make selections that I feel would help my own child. Who is to say something I deem frivolous, might not be just the key for someone else’s child. After all, The innumerable ways autism presents itself has a good deal to do with the extensive array of therapies available.

I found the section on technological-based interventions particularly interesting myself. I have been wanting to get our daughter an iPad, since there are some great therapeutic apps which have been developed, and many children have been making a good deal of verbal progress using them. I’ve heard from a few other parents about the strides their kids have made, and after reading more about the applications in this book, I do think my daughter would benefit from them.

More traditional approaches are of course also covered in this book, such as ABA, occupational and speech therapy. Most children on the spectrum are like my daughter, either already receiving these established therapies (or on waiting lists to receive them), so the emerging therapies are generally not a replacement, rather, in most cases, they are auxiliary treatments. In years to come, perhaps, some of these may become the go-to autism therapies, so it is wise to be informed.

This volume is reasonably priced, and provides an excellent general overview of the various treatment options available for autistic individuals. I would suggest Cutting-Edge Therapies for Autism 2011-2012 Edition, as an addition to the bookshelf of anyone with a child on the spectrum. The book is currently available at most major booksellers.

Disclosure: Press copy of this title provided for the purpose of review. all opinions presented here are my own.

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Filed Under: Autism, Books

Seedlings, Autism, Hope and Patience

19 Apr posted by Robin

I showed you my tomato and basil seedlings a few weeks ago. On the day I posted I had just given up on my Beefsteak tomatoes, and proclaimed the seeds duds. Guess what… the next day a seedling started to push up. It was close to the edge of the Jiffy pot, so I was still thinking it was possibly a Cherry tomato seed that had been misplaced, but over the next week sprouts had appeared in all three of the little satchels of soil.

It seems to be a running theme in my life, as soon as I give up on something, presto.

Now the Beefsteak tomato seedlings, that I had given up on, have caught up in size to the Cherry tomatoes.

I didn’t get married that late by today’s standards, but much like the little tomato plants, shortly after deciding that my focus was going to be on graduate school and other endeavors, rather than a marital relationship, I met my now husband. He and I bought our home and hoped to have a couple children. The years went by, and no children came. Soon to be 40, I gave up on the having kids. If it hadn’t happened by that point, it wasn’t going to. Just shy of 5 months from my 40th birthday, I found out we were expecting.

Mammoth basil seedlings.

Our daughter was born a very healthy baby. She met all her milestones on time, or early. She had good eye contact. At 11 months she was walking and said mom-mom and “bubba” (bottle). M remained very engaged with me, but more words did not come. She started Early Intervention services and a few months before her third birthday she officially received a diagnosis of autism. Despite various therapies, our little girl still barely speaks.

Part of me looks back to the past. Every time I give up on something, and accept things as they are, low and behold that “something” happens. The thing is when it is your child you are talking about, giving up is not an option.

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Filed Under: Autism, Garden

Loving Lampposts: A Frank Discussion on What It Means to Be Autistic

5 Apr posted by Robin

Loving Lampposts is film which gives an encompassing view of autism. The film looks at the differing viewpoints on what it means to be autistic, in a frank and open manner. The filmmaker, Todd Drezner, is the father of an autistic child himself, so this film is not just a project for him, but also a quest for answers.

There are two seemingly very different viewpoints on autism. The medical community and much of the general public see autism as a sickness, which must be fought and cured. There is also a ‘neurodiversity’ movement, which proclaims autism is just a variation of the human brain, and should be accepted as such. To them it is disrespectful to say autistic people should be cured.

Loving Lampposts presents the differing viewpoints from, parents of autistic children, the medical community and most importantly autistic adults. From parents, there are discussions on how they have fought or come to accept autism. Some children have indeed lost their autism diagnosis, others have not. Among the parents who have accepted that autism is the way their children are, they are still endeavoring to help their kids be the most they can be. It is just their viewpoint which has changed. The medical community takes a disease curing approach to autism. Theorizing that if the underlying causes of the condition can be cured, the person will become “normal”.

Of the most interest to myself, and I would think most people who have a loved one with autism, were the interviews with autistic adults. Many are proponents of the ‘neurodiversity’ movement. They do not want to be treated as if they are damaged and sick. They just want to be accepted as who they are.

I found Loving Lampposts to be a very thoughtful presentation. As the mother of an autistic child, I sometimes feel a bit pulled between the cure vs. accept models. As my daughter is still rather young, I am focusing more on treatments that would be considered more in the “cure” camp, but for me the emphasis is more on helping her gain skills that will make her future life easier and more fulfilling. Would I like her to lose her diagnosis, yes, but first and foremost I want her to be what makes her happy. I guess that sort of puts me somewhere between these two camps.

Loving Lampposts came out on DVD March 29th. It is now available for rent or purchase. If you are the parent of an autistic child, an educator, or just someone who wants to better understand the “epidemic” of autism, I highly recommend this movie, from Cinema Libre Studio.

Disclosure: Media copy was provided for the purpose of this review. All opinions are my own.

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Filed Under: Autism, Reviews & Giveaways


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